Drugs Part II
As I said, treatment consists of a handful of cancer drugs, and a larger handful of drugs to counter the cancer drugs. At the outset they give you a long and alarming shpiel about the litany of side effects you can expect with chemo and a list of stuff to keep on hand to keep yourself functioning. Some aren't all that exciting, but here's the rundown:
1. Allopurinol -- this was the first drug I started taking, basically it keeps the kidneys chugging along. Cancer cells release uric acid as they die, Allopurinol prevents the acid from causing gout. I don't really know what gout is, except I don't think many 20-somethings get it. I think I read Benjamin Franklin might have had it.
2. Prilosec -- pretty basic, chemo kills good protective cells in the digestive tracts, this stuff keeps stomach acid from burning a hole in my tummy.
3. Neulasta -- definitely one of my favorites. I'm going to kill damn near every one of my white blood cells during this ordeal, and Neulasta is a tiny (4cc) shot I take 24 hours after a chemo treatment which, as I understand it, makes my white blood cell production go into overdrive. Two things I especially like about this drug: one, I get to inject it myself, and that just sounds fun. I plan to do stirring recreations of great self-injection moments from the silver screen (The Rock and Trainspotting spring to mind). Second, each shot costs something like $3,200.00, and I just like the idea of spending that much on myself.
Oh -- and Neulasta is made by a great company with very generous employees. I like to think I'm giving back.
4. Tylenol, with and without Codeine -- I get both kinds, just in case. One of the drawbacks of the Neulasta is that it makes your bone marrow expand as it works overtime to create white blood cells, and that pretty much feels like your bone marrow is expanding. I especially feel it in my spine. This is where codeine comes in handy.
5. Biotene -- this stuff is awful. It's a special mouthwash to keep things healthy and clean once the good cells on the inside of my mouth get wiped out, and I guess it works, but it tastes and feels exactly like saccharin flavored saliva.
I'm told I should expect to get mouth ulcers, which sound super. At that point I'll get a prescription for another special mouthwash that has lidocaine in it, which should numb things enough so I can gum my foods in peace. If that stuff tastes worse than the Biotene I may give up and start rinsing with black tar heroin.
6. Benadryl -- I don't really get this one. It's not for allergies (they take care of that with the full liter you give on chemo day), instead it's recommended as a sleep aid, because us cancer patients need our rest. Can't really argue with that, I sleep like a baby on Benadryl. It's not like I have the sauce anymore. Thanks again Pfizer!
7. Immodium -- chemo screws with your digestive system. Let's leave it at that.
8. Metamucil -- then again, sometimes it just shuts it down.
9. Desenex and Gold Bond -- when you have no white blood cells, infections can be a bitch. These help ward off jungle rot, and sprinkling Gold Bond around gives a fun tingly feeling.
10. Eucerin -- skin cells divide quickly, and as such they get walloped in this process too.
11. Tucks Medicated Pads -- too offensive to link to. You know what they do. Just think for a moment how awful an infection in that area would be.
I may have forgotten some, but those are the basic contents of my personalized chemo kit. I also got an expensive electric razor, since I guess I'm less likely to cut myself with it. Not sure that one was worth it or not.
1. Allopurinol -- this was the first drug I started taking, basically it keeps the kidneys chugging along. Cancer cells release uric acid as they die, Allopurinol prevents the acid from causing gout. I don't really know what gout is, except I don't think many 20-somethings get it. I think I read Benjamin Franklin might have had it.
2. Prilosec -- pretty basic, chemo kills good protective cells in the digestive tracts, this stuff keeps stomach acid from burning a hole in my tummy.
3. Neulasta -- definitely one of my favorites. I'm going to kill damn near every one of my white blood cells during this ordeal, and Neulasta is a tiny (4cc) shot I take 24 hours after a chemo treatment which, as I understand it, makes my white blood cell production go into overdrive. Two things I especially like about this drug: one, I get to inject it myself, and that just sounds fun. I plan to do stirring recreations of great self-injection moments from the silver screen (The Rock and Trainspotting spring to mind). Second, each shot costs something like $3,200.00, and I just like the idea of spending that much on myself.
Oh -- and Neulasta is made by a great company with very generous employees. I like to think I'm giving back.
4. Tylenol, with and without Codeine -- I get both kinds, just in case. One of the drawbacks of the Neulasta is that it makes your bone marrow expand as it works overtime to create white blood cells, and that pretty much feels like your bone marrow is expanding. I especially feel it in my spine. This is where codeine comes in handy.
5. Biotene -- this stuff is awful. It's a special mouthwash to keep things healthy and clean once the good cells on the inside of my mouth get wiped out, and I guess it works, but it tastes and feels exactly like saccharin flavored saliva.
I'm told I should expect to get mouth ulcers, which sound super. At that point I'll get a prescription for another special mouthwash that has lidocaine in it, which should numb things enough so I can gum my foods in peace. If that stuff tastes worse than the Biotene I may give up and start rinsing with black tar heroin.
6. Benadryl -- I don't really get this one. It's not for allergies (they take care of that with the full liter you give on chemo day), instead it's recommended as a sleep aid, because us cancer patients need our rest. Can't really argue with that, I sleep like a baby on Benadryl. It's not like I have the sauce anymore. Thanks again Pfizer!
7. Immodium -- chemo screws with your digestive system. Let's leave it at that.
8. Metamucil -- then again, sometimes it just shuts it down.
9. Desenex and Gold Bond -- when you have no white blood cells, infections can be a bitch. These help ward off jungle rot, and sprinkling Gold Bond around gives a fun tingly feeling.
10. Eucerin -- skin cells divide quickly, and as such they get walloped in this process too.
11. Tucks Medicated Pads -- too offensive to link to. You know what they do. Just think for a moment how awful an infection in that area would be.
I may have forgotten some, but those are the basic contents of my personalized chemo kit. I also got an expensive electric razor, since I guess I'm less likely to cut myself with it. Not sure that one was worth it or not.
posted by Tim at
9:09 PM
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